BOOK REVIEW: This Song Is (Not) for You by Laura Nowlin

This Song Is (Not) for You by Laura Nowlin

(Goodreads)

Ramona and Sam are best friends. She fell for him the moment they met, but their friendship is just too important for her to mess up. Sam loves Ramona, but he would never expect her to feel the same way-she's too quirky and cool for someone like him. Together, they have a band, and put all of their feelings for each other into music.  

Then Ramona and Sam meet Tom. He's their band's missing piece, and before Ramona knows it, she's falling for him. But she hasn't fallen out of love with Sam either. How can she be true to her feelings without breaking up the band?

Thanks to SourceBooks Fire at Netgalley for providing me with an eARC! 

The teenagers in this book are real. And like real teenagers, they can sometimes be incredibly annoying and supercilious (a word I learned today that fits perfectly; meaning "behaving or looking as though one thinks one is superior to others").

We meet Ramona, a high school senior at St. Joseph's Prep, a school "full of rich kids" and "poseurs". She thinks she's different than everyone and she likes to make it known. Her 'nemesis' is a girl in her year who once commented on Ramona's hair after she hacked it in the school bathroom with craft scissors.

In alternating chapters we meet Sam and Tom. Sam has been best friends with Ramona for years and together they form the band April and the Rain. Sam isn't so bad, like Ramona, he also "can't comprehend [high school girl's] level[s] of superficiality existing" (47). The thing is, Sam's been in love with Ramona forever, he just can't bring himself to say anything about it. He spends most of his time longing after her, his chapters mostly filled with him talking about her or thinking about her.

Tom, like Ramona, spends a lot of time trying to be different rather than genuinely being different. He walks around with shoes covered with the words 'Darfur' and 'Auschwitz' and hands out flyers to whoever asks about them. While this isn't necessarily a bad thing, like Ramona, he's incredibly judgmental. An entire chapter of his is dedicated to labeling cliques during lunch time and Tom saying how he doesn't fit in because he's so different.

The most frustrating thing about Tom is his art. There's a scene where his girlfriend is disturbed because he buys a bunch of goldfish and dumps them in a local fountain as a sort of Banksy-like art movement (he knows the fish will die and we later find out that the dead fish clogged up a pipe and cost the city thousands of dollars to repair). To that, he says "this really scared me to death because I was still on probation, and it really did upset me. Causing real harm goes against my ethics" (71). I wanted to scream when I read this. So it wasn't until monetary damage had done that he thought twice about dumping goldfish to their deaths?

However, unlike Ramona and Sam, Tom does redeem himself and show character growth. Upon planning to put up posters with pictures of starving children at the mall during Christmas, he realizes how uneducated on the topic he is and what a bad idea it was.

Back to Ramona. The best part of this novel for me was her nemesis telling her off:

"You just have to make sure everybody knows that you are so special and so weird." She tilts her head higher. "Everything you do, your haircuts and your stupid boots, it's all about proving that you're so fucking unusual. You say that you don't care what people think, but you do. You probably spend more time on your appearance than I do. You act like you're this tortured and misunderstood outcast, but you're really not, okay? You've got friends, and your hair looks like something from a Teen Vogue 'How to Get That Punk Rock Look' column. So get over yourself, Ramona, 'cause we're all sick of hearing about what a unique snow-flake you are." (93). 

Ramona briefly ponders if she really is a poseur but forgets about this instance fairly quickly which I thought was a wasted opportunity for growth. Eventually the two sort of patch things up, but not before this encounter:

"You are unbelievable. You're like a five-year old! Didn't your  mother teach you to share?" I said. 

    "My mother is dead, you bitch," she said. 

               And I was so surprised, 

                         that I said, 

                    "Mine too." (126) 

It was a part where I might have honestly groaned in frustration. I honestly could not understand why Ramona had to make it about herself?

Maybe this book just wasn't for me.

I did enjoy Nowlin's style of writing when characters would break into a sort of poetic thought process. Like the above quote, there's more than a handful of sections broken off like that and I think it was the right balance to regular prose. I wish there had been more conflict in this novel, and looking back on it, I'm not sure if there really was any major conflict at all. I wish Nowlin would have touched more on the polyamory relationship the three had going on. Maybe in a sequel?

Memorable Quote

"And making plans doesn't make you safe; it just makes you feel that the future owes you something." (176)

Book Review: Nirvana by J.R. Stewart

Nirvana by J.R. Stewart

(Goodreads)

When the real world is emptied of all that you love, how can you keep yourself from dependence on the virtual?  

Animal activist and punk rock star Larissa Kenders lives in a dystopian world where the real and the virtual intermingle. After the disappearance of her soulmate, Andrew, Kenders finds solace by escaping to Nirvana, a virtual world controlled by Hexagon. In Nirvana, anyone’s deepest desires may be realized - even visits with Andrew. 

Although Kenders knows that this version of Andrew is virtual, when he asks for her assistance revealing Hexagon’s dark secret, she cannot help but comply. Soon after, Kenders and her closest allies find themselves in a battle with Hexagon, the very institution they have been taught to trust. After uncovering much more than she expected, Kenders’ biggest challenge is determining what is real – and what is virtual. 

Nirvana is a fast-paced, page-turning young adult novel combining elements of science fiction, mystery, and romance. Part of a trilogy, this book introduces readers to a young woman who refuses to give up on the man she loves, even if it means taking on an entire government to do so.

Thank you to Blue Moon Publishers at NetGalley for sending me this eARC!

I am sad to share that I dragged myself through the last 100 pages of this book.

There are many things about Nirvana that didn't sit well with me and I think the main one is the lack of interesting characters. We're introduced to Larissa Kenders, (who hates being called by her first name, why? No clue), a 17-year-old who is engaged to a 25-year-old computer engineer/scientist/prodigy and who has led revolts against money-hungry companies through her fame as a rock star.

She sounds interesting enough, so why does her character fall flat? A lot of the novel is told through Kender's point-of-view but there are random chapters here and there told through someone else and the sequence is never consistent. I didn't see the point in alternating the chapters besides giving us information that Kenders didn't have access to. But if that was the case, why not establish a secondary consistent character? These alternating chapters might as well have been told through a janitor's pov.

While none of the characters stood out for me, I was particularly disappointed in Kender's development. We're told from the beginning that she's feisty, unapologetic, a rock star, and the kind of girl that would throw blood on people for wearing fur. However, I don't think we ever see any of that. Instead, Kenders develops into a one-dimensional character who never really takes charge of the situation and instead follows other people's orders. It was aggravating to see obvious clues that she never picked up on. For example:

"Did you leave the stick?" I ask.  

"What stick?" 

I tell him, and the blood drains from his face. He says nothing, his furrowed brows closing in on his expression.  

What happens next? Kenders goes to sleep. Um...hello?? If your fiancee's face becomes pale after a conversation, isn't that something to follow up on? Something to prod about? There were many frustrating moments like these.

Nirvana is set in the year 2088 and Kenders dumps a lot of information here and there to let the reader know how much the future has changed. However, it is A LOT to take in at once. I found them very confusing and after the first 50 pages or so my eyes started glossing over paragraphs of information. Another extremely confusing aspect was the timeline. If I'm correct in my math, Kenders was 14 when she met Andrew, (her fiancee), who was 22. Even in the present time, when Kenders is 17, he's 25. UM, do I really need to say anything else? Kenders finished high school years ago apparently, graduated college, toured Canada with her punk band and (pause for breath) worked for the government for a couple of years already.

It was all very confusing and gave me a headache trying to figure out. And although I think this novel deserves 1 star, I do applaud the author for taking reader's feedback and revising the story.

Book Review: Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

(Goodreads)

As children, Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy were students at Hailsham, an exclusive boarding school secluded in the English countryside. It was a place of mercurial cliques and mysterious rules where teachers were constantly reminding their charges of how special they were. Now, years later, Kathy is a young woman. Ruth and Tommy have reentered her life, and for the first time she is beginning to look back at their shared past and understand just what it is that makes them special--and how that gift will shape the rest of their time together.

This book is complicated. Before reading the back summary, the intro pages or the copyright page, you're met with the front cover, which not only informs you that this novel has been made into a movie starring Carey Mulligan, Andrew Garfield (the newest Spiderman), and Keira Knightley, but that according to TIME, this is "the best novel of the decade." I didn't even notice the subheading under the author's name that announces him as the Booker Prize-winning author of The Remains of the Day. I'd say the first impression of this novel sets the bar pretty high.

I was lost in the first five pages. Then mildly disappointed in the next ten. By page 30 I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue reading. I asked my friend who had seen the film if she thought it was worth continuing, and she said she'd enjoyed the film and was surprised that I wasn't enjoying the novel. So I continued and thought to myself, if it doesn't get better by page 100, I'll seriously consider making this the first book I abandon (at least since beginning this blog!).

Ishiguro writes clearly, each sentence by itself is understandable. It's the bigger picture becomes confusing with vague details that don't ever feel like they're going to be cleared up. Kath, the protagonist, spends a majority of the novel looking back at her time in her school, Hailsham, trying to put memories together. While her memories appear very mundane (as if I was writing about a week ago when I went to the supermarket and was looking for a particular kind of soup and came back home to my apartment and petted a white cat on the way in), towards the second half of the novel, they start becoming fond and interesting.

I honestly think a different beginning to this novel would have made it a much better read. I can hardly remember the first 75 pages or so because I was so confused and felt like Kath was taking me nowhere. The first section of Part Three (Chapter 18) would have been a much better beginning to the novel. It clues you in to the book's plot without saying too much and reveals the main character's personality.

"Sometimes I get so immersed in my own company, if I unexpectedly run into someone I know, it's a bit of a shock and takes me a while to adjust" (208). 

This section of the chapter intrigues you, it leaves you with questions like what is a carer? What is a donor? Even when you don't know what's going on, you keep reading because you want to find more clues.

Overall, this novel is a nice read if you can get past the first part of the novel (approximately 100 pages). I think it's a great idea not executed well. I enjoyed seeing Kath's perspective on this alternative lifestyle but was greatly frustrated with the questions it left me that were never even vaguely addressed. However, I am looking forward to watching the film after seeing the movie trailer.

The original book cover, which I find much more beautiful.

Book Review: Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill

Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill

(Goodreads)

Aging, self-absorbed rock star Judas Coyne has a thing for the macabre -- his collection includes sketches from infamous serial killer John Wayne Gacy, a trepanned skull from the 16th century, a used hangman's noose, Aleister Crowley's childhood chessboard, etc. -- so when his assistant tells him about a ghost for sale on an online auction site, he immediately puts in a bid and purchases it. 

The black, heart-shaped box that Coyne receives in the mail not only contains the suit of a dead man but also his vengeance-obsessed spirit. The ghost, it turns out, is the stepfather of a young groupie who committed suicide after the 54-year-old Coyne callously used her up and threw her away. Now, determined to kill Coyne and anyone who aids him, the merciless ghost of Craddock McDermott begins his assault on the rocker's sanity.

I think this might be the first horror novel I've ever read. Sure I've read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (honestly the images impacted me more as a child than the actual stories) and read my fair share of creepypasta (Squidward's Suicide messed me up!) but never anything that I couldn't finish in a day or less. Let me preface my review by saying that I am a scaredy cat (yes, that's the official term for it) who loves watching scary movies and not being able to sleep for weeks and going to Hollywood Horror Nights and burying my face in my friend's shoulder throughout the night. 

With that said, Heart-Shaped Box only left me feeling scared for the first night after I began reading it. However, I'm sure living in a 50 year old church doesn't help! I wouldn't exactly categorize Heart-Shaped Box as a horror novel; the long journey that Judas and Mary Beth (aka Georgia) go on falls more towards the thriller category and there's really nothing that's going to keep the average person up at night.

Heart-Shaped Box is divided into four sections, Black Dog, Ride On., Hurt, and Alive. It wasn't easy to feel a connection with Judas, the novel's middle aged protagonist, at least not until half way through the novel. Although he's a famous death metal rockstar, he came across as fake with the way he would talk about what was expected of him (the black clothing, the ankhs, the gory lyrics) and his fans. Maybe he was just tired, maybe he was just getting old. It just didn't come across as genuine and that definitely made it hard to connect with him. 

Part of what made me root for him was his 20-something year old girlfriend, Mary Beth. I appreciated her voice and that she was more than what her Goth exterior had initially led on. Had it not been for her, I don't think I would have cared as much if Judas came out dead or alive. Something memorable about Joe Hill's writing was how he wrote the surrealistic scenes when Judas dealt with the dead. They were very vivid and well written, definitely memorable.

Book Review: The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks

The Wasp Factory by Ian Banks

(Goodreads)

Frank - no ordinary sixteen-year-old - lives with his father outside a remote Scottish village. Their life is, to say the least, unconventional. Frank's mother abandoned them years ago: his elder brother Eric is confined to a psychiatric hospital; and his father measures out his eccentricities on an imperial scale. Frank has turned to strange acts of violence to vent his frustrations. In the bizarre daily rituals there is some solace. But when news comes of Eric's escape from the hospital Frank has to prepare the ground for his brother's inevitable return - an event that explodes the mysteries of the past and changes Frank utterly.

I recently signed up for BooksFree, an online book rental service, and this is one of the two books that I received for my first month.

When I first started reading The Wasp Factory, I wondered what had drawn me to add this to my 'to read' list. I wondered this because this is definitely not the typical kind of book that I would read. It's extremely morbid and has scenes that left me feeling slightly angry and disturbed. The writing style definitely reminds me of 19th century books like Huckleberry Finn in that it has very long and detailed descriptions of the nature surrounding the main character. I'm not a huge fan of these kinds of descriptions, my eyes usually gloss over them and I have to reread them several times to actually form a picture in my head.

Frank, the main character, has a very interesting perspective on things. Disturbing? Yes. But he doesn't give off that serial killer vibe. Frank is the kind of person you rarely speak to, don't really notice and don't think much of. However, he's also the kind of person you wouldn't want to be alone in a room with or have as a partner for a class project. Although The Wasp Factory wasn't exactly a page turner, I did want to find out what happened to make Frank the way he is and whether his brother, Eric, even existed or not. I wanted to see if Frank would change, if he would feel remorse for the acts he had previously committed.

Despite being listed as one of the top 100 books in the 20th century, I just don't appreciate this book to that extent. I would recommend it to someone who is interested in morbid characters and violent and graphic scenes.

Memorable Quote

"What a delight to behave really badly and still get loads of sympathy!" (41)